White Men Can’t Jump is one of my favorite movies. Back in 1992, Coast to Coast gave us the inevitable porn parody, White Men Can’t Hump.

The front cover tagline, “Cassidy gets a little forward”, is weak. We much prefer the back cover tagline, “Got a Woody?”

White Men Can't Hump - xxx porn parody - Got a Woody?

We even love the lame back cover basketball/sex pun humor. “It’s got finger rolls, dunks, loose balls and rim shots. And then the basketball starts!” Heey-yoooooo!

Starring Cassidy (a hot one-name pornstar at the time), Ashley Phillips, Daniella Darius, Nikki Dial and Tanya Storm.

Personal Best was a sensitive portrait of female athletes and lesbians back in the 1980s. Amber Lynn’s Personal Best was the slightly less sensitive 1986 porn parody version. “Amber Lynn is hot to trot in this racy, raunchy marathon of cross-country runners competing for honors and each other’s awesome bodies!”

Amber Lynn's Personal Best xxx porn parody

Also starring Carol Titian, Jessica Wylde, Tamara Longley and Nina Hartley.

For whatever reason, my Keith Olbermann/Dan Patrick slash fiction never found an audience. Maybe I was just ahead of my time. Hustler takes a more fan-friendly approach in the new porn parody This Aint ESPN XXX.

This Ain't ESPN XXX - Hustler porn parody

Each sex scene spoofs some real ESPN figure or sports star. No YouTube trailer yet, but Hustler has released a hilarious scene breakdown.

Scene 1: Erin Andrews loves to hangout in locker rooms with naked football players! Today she is investigating a new performance enhancer that is making offensive linemen grow huge cocks.

Scene 2: The NBA is in labor negotiations so the players head to Europe to get some playing time. These big dick NBA studs love playing – playing with hot Euro sluts who can’t get enough NBA dick!

Scene 3: Sara Walsh is the newest piece of ass in the sport center studio. She is easy to get hot since men surround her all the time. Of course, she is an attention whore and she needs dick to improve her self-esteem. Her anchor partner John Buccigross has the hots for this blonde headed piece of ass and he fucks her right on the set while the ESPN producers film the whole thing!

Scene 4: Shaun White doesn’t know when to quit. He’s a skater, surfer, and now a rally car driver. ESPN’s Angela Sun is a big fan of Shaun’s and she loses her reporter’s objectivity when she meets Shaun in the hospital after a bad crash.

Scene 5: Danica Patrick is not happy about her new outfit for Go-Daddy. She wants to race cars and be a classy lady but G-Daddy has other ideas.

Directed by Otto Bauer, starring Alanah Rae, Brooklyn Lee, McKenzie Lee, Britney Amber and Asphyxia Noir.

Legendary pornstar John Holmes made a handful of porn parodies before his death in 1988. Adam & Eve has reissued two, Saturday Night Beaver and Rockey X, as part of the John Holmes Classic Collection, Vol. 2.

John Holmes in Saturday Night Beaver & Rockey X

The other title in the set is I Love L.A., which could be considered a porn parody of the Randy Newman song. We Love It! All three titles were originally released in 1986 by Penguin Productions.

John Holmes Classic Collection, Volume 2 | Adam & Eve

All the John Holmes classic collection titles can be viewed separately in our AEBN-powered online theater. I’ve never believed the 14″ hype — around 10″ is more likely — but he certainly was a freak of nature. And a damn handsome man.

White Ghetto honors a trash TV classic in This Isn’t American Gladiators … It’s a XXX Spoof!.

American Gladiators XXX Porn Spoof

I’m crossing my fingers for a scene with two gladiators having sex while another gladiator fires the tennis ball cannon at them.

Starring Tera Joy, Candy Sweet, Tina Gabriel, Victoria Rush and Jasmina Flowers.

Buy or rent This Isn’t American Gladiators … It’s a XXX Spoof! on DVD!

Aside from Kimbo Slice‘s cameo roles in various Muffia flicks, the worlds of porn and mixed martial arts have not mingled much. That’s surprising, considering that there’s probably a huge audience overlap.

Devil’s Film takes one big step toward fixing the situation with This Isn’t UFC: Ultimate Fucking Championship, starring Alexis Texas, Audrey Hollander and Alexis Grace.

This Isn't UFC: Ultimate Fucking Championship

Crank up your vuvuzelas, Private taps into World Cup fever with the brand new XXX porn parody Private World Cup: Footballers’ Wives. The DVD comes out July 6, but GameLink (owned by Private) has it available now for streaming or download.

Bobbi Starr plays “Victoria Fuckham” (haha), Carla Cox plays “Leslie Trash” (a pun on Leslie Ash, a British actress married to former football star Lee Chapman), and Amy Brooke plays “Paris Cliton” (presumably a pun on Paris Hilton, not a footballer’s wife as far as I know). Kimberly Kane also appears.

Private World Cup: Footballers' Wives

Private celebrated the previous World Cup in similar fashion with Private Football Cup 2006, known as Private Soccer Cup 2006 in the Yanks market.

Private Soccer Cup 2006 XXX

Tiger Woods scandal exploitation has been a big porn biz trend this year. Up to now, these titles have taken two forms: releases highlighting Tiger’s pornstar mistresses Joslyn James and Holly Sampson (Tiger’s Tail, Tiger Tamer, MILF Soup 9: The Tiger Scandal and Naughty America Special Edition) or porn parody reenactments with Tiger Woods lookalikes (Tyler’s Wood and Tiger’s Got Wood).

Those two trends will come together in the upcoming Vivid release The Eleventh Hole, in which Tiger mistress and shameless publicity whore Joslyn James will reenact her affair with a Tiger lookalike. (Release date: June 28, 2010.)

The Eleventh Hole - Joslyn James in Tiger Woods xxx parody by Vivid

Vivid has released publicity photos showing Joslyn James at a casting call for Tiger Woods lookalikes.

Vivid casting call for Tiger Woods porn parody with Joslyn James

WTF? The guy on the far right is the only one who looks even remotely close to Tiger Woods.

Bad News Bitches

One more baseball title to celebrate Opening Day. The porn biz tossed out the XXX parody Bad News Bitches in 2005, the same year as Richard Linklater’s disappointing remake of The Bad News Bears.

They actually play baseball in this porn flick. Well, softball at least. The final sex scene is an eight-girl lesbian poolside orgy with Charlie Laine, Cherry Poppens, Faith Leon, Holly Wellin, Jenna Haze, Kayla Paige, Naudia Nyce and Nautica Thorn. That’s nice, but why not nine?

They made three Bad News Bitches sequels with assorted pornstar phenoms and free agents. Our online theater has the whole Bad News Bitches series available for viewing or downloading. Our DVD store has BNB 2, BNB 3 and BNB 4 for sale; the original is sadly out-of-print.

Bang the Butt Slowly

Baseball season has begun! PornParody.com celebrates our favorite rite of spring with a very stoopid baseball movie XXX pun, Bang the Butt Slowly.

It’s a 4-hour compilation of anal scenes from other XXX flicks. No baseball or parody content beyond the title. But I do love the title.

Pornstars represented include Kylie Ireland, Bridgette Kerkove, Chloe and Stacy Valentine, all of whom throw like girls.