We had seen release dates of February 3 or February 10 listed for This Ain’t Jaws XXX in 3D, but as of now (afternoon of January 31) our DVD store has it in stock and shipping. If you pre-ordered, it’s on its way.

This Ain't Jaws XXX 3D porn parody

This Ain’t Jaws XXX in 3D is a Hustler/Adam & Eve co-production, directed by Stuart Canterbury, starring Phoenix Marie, Lily LaBeau, Jayden Cole, Darcy Tyler, Evan Stone and Dale DaBone.

Check out the safe-for-work promo clips we posted a couple weeks back.

Hustler and Adam & Eve have teamed up to create This Ain’t Jaws XXX 3D. Release date slated for early February. To get the buzz started, they posted two YouTube teaser clips this week.

Starring Phoenix Marie, Lily LaBeau, Jayden Cole, Darcy Tyler, Evan Stone and Dale DaBone.

This Ain't Jaws XXX 3D porn parody

I’ve never actually seen an episode of Nurse Jackie, but let’s face it, nurses are hot, therefore This Ain’t Nurse Jackie XXX from Hustler is bound to be hot.

This Ain't Nurse Jackie XXX - Hustler porn parody

Lily LaBeau plays the Edie Falco lead role. Lily LaBeau is hot, and Edie Falco is hot, so this one’s a cinch.

Do any real hospitals have those candy-apple-red stethoscopes? Cuz that’s kinda hot too.

Also starring Roxanne Hall, Kiera King, Britney Amber and Skin Diamond. Directed by Stuart Canterbury.

American Chopper is a reality show on the Discovery Channel about a father-and-son custom motorcycle shop, supported by two other sons and various male gearheads. This Ain’t American Chopper XXX, new today from Hustler, switches things up by giving Paul Sr. a bunch of daughters and female gearheads.

This Ain't American Chopper XXX - Hustler porn parody

Evan Stone directs and plays garage boss Paul Sr. Also starring Dani Jensen, Helly Mae Hellfire, Jenna Presley and Vanessa Veracruz.

For whatever reason, my Keith Olbermann/Dan Patrick slash fiction never found an audience. Maybe I was just ahead of my time. Hustler takes a more fan-friendly approach in the new porn parody This Aint ESPN XXX.

This Ain't ESPN XXX - Hustler porn parody

Each sex scene spoofs some real ESPN figure or sports star. No YouTube trailer yet, but Hustler has released a hilarious scene breakdown.

Scene 1: Erin Andrews loves to hangout in locker rooms with naked football players! Today she is investigating a new performance enhancer that is making offensive linemen grow huge cocks.

Scene 2: The NBA is in labor negotiations so the players head to Europe to get some playing time. These big dick NBA studs love playing – playing with hot Euro sluts who can’t get enough NBA dick!

Scene 3: Sara Walsh is the newest piece of ass in the sport center studio. She is easy to get hot since men surround her all the time. Of course, she is an attention whore and she needs dick to improve her self-esteem. Her anchor partner John Buccigross has the hots for this blonde headed piece of ass and he fucks her right on the set while the ESPN producers film the whole thing!

Scene 4: Shaun White doesn’t know when to quit. He’s a skater, surfer, and now a rally car driver. ESPN’s Angela Sun is a big fan of Shaun’s and she loses her reporter’s objectivity when she meets Shaun in the hospital after a bad crash.

Scene 5: Danica Patrick is not happy about her new outfit for Go-Daddy. She wants to race cars and be a classy lady but G-Daddy has other ideas.

Directed by Otto Bauer, starring Alanah Rae, Brooklyn Lee, McKenzie Lee, Britney Amber and Asphyxia Noir.

Sadly, Girl with the Horny Tattoo from Hustler is not really a porn parody of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It’s just a collection of five sex scenes featuring pornstars with lots of tattoos. Since most pornstars have lots of tattoos, that’s not much of a theme. What the hell, it still looks hot.

Girl with the Horny Tattoo Hustler XXX Dragon Tattoo

Horny tattooed girls include Emma Mae (on the cover), Bridgette B., Lizz Tayler, Alexis Grace, Mason Moore (star of the infamous fake Kat von D sex tape), Loni Evans and Emily Parker.

Here’s hoping someone does a proper Girl with the Dragon Tattoo XXX porn parody soon.

Hustler goes retro with their newest porn parody, This Ain’t Urban Cowboy XXX, based on that other annoying nightclub craze movie that John Travolta made after Saturday Night Fever.

There’s a pornstar riding a mechanical bull in the trailer, so far so good.

This Ain't Urban Cowboy XXX - Hustler porn parody

The cast includes Dana DeArmond, Payton Leigh, Andy San Dimas, Tweety Valentine, Mariah Madysinn and a bunch of stiffs in cowboy hats.

Halloween porn parody season is in full swing. Hustler presents This Ain’t Dracula XXX, directed by the magnificent Axel Braun. (Releasing 10/5, pre-orders open.)

If you have your own special glasses handy, there’s an alternate YouTube trailer in 3-D. The DVD release includes both 3-D and normal 2-D versions on separate discs.

The case includes Jessi Palmer, Marie McCray, Krissy Lynn, Jennifer Dark, Bridgette B, Brandy Aniston, Evan Stone (as Count Dracula) and Tom Byron (as Renfield).

This Ain't Dracula XXX 3D - Hustler porn parody, Axel Braun director

Hustler just posted six YouTube trailers for America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn, one for the whole film plus teasers for each of the five vignettes.

Three-Dollar Foot-Schlong! (Not affiliated with Subway.)

Free Credit Whore! (Not affiliated with any crappy website.)

The Most Interesting Man in …! (Not the Dos Equis guy.)

Aggressive Insurance! (Totally not approved by Flo from Progressive.)

Whorbitz dirty mouth! (Not endorsed by Orbitz, which is actually not bad gum.)

America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn in stores soon!

America's Favorite Commercials Gone Porn - Hustler

Hustler’s newest porn parody looks absolutely brilliant. America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn contains five sex scenes recreating five TV commercials that we’ve all seen a million times.

The front cover is frankly kinda boring, just a generic picture of a pretty girl with big boobs. The back cover provides glimpses of each commercial gone porn, which had me cracking up in anticipation. So we’re switching things up by posting the back cover, with some pixellation to keep this site hard-R (just a personal preference, you can see the full XXX images by clicking through).

I’ll be skipping to the “Aggressive Insurance” vignette first. Flo porn! Cmon, who doesn’t have intense sexual fantasies about bending Flo from Progressive over her motorcycle? Hello? Anyone? Who’s with me?

The cast includes Taylor Wane, Lizz Tayler, Nicole Aniston, Jazy Berlin, Daisy Cruz and Chloe Reece Ryder. Directed by Otto Bauer.

America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn confirms my theory that porn parodies are the Wacky Packages of our age. Here’s hoping Hustler turns this concept into a series.

Hustler hasn’t posted a YouTube trailer yet, but we’ll keep checking.