Movie star/politician Arnold Schwarzenegger’s sex life gets the porn parody treatment in Arnold the Fornicator, brand new today from Combat Zone. In stock & shipping!

Arnold the Fornicator - Schwarzenegger XXX porn parody

Jay Huntington (aka Chance Caldwell) stars as Arnold. The female cast includes “Nikki Daniels as the Maid, Roxanne Hall as the Reporter, Destiny Porter as the Accountant and Nora Skyy as the Aspiring Actress”. What, no fake Maria Shriver?!? I feel cheated.

Check out Arnold the Fornicator on DVD.

Other Schwarzenegger porn parodies we’ve covered: The Inseminator and Inseminator 2: Domination Day, Penetrator and Penetrator 2: Grudge Day, Total Reball and two versions of The Sperminator.

The year before his Bonfire of the Panties, porn director William Black made Total Reball, a parody of the Paul Verhoeven/Philip K Dick/Arnold Schwarzenegger joint Total Recall.

The back cover blurb is actually kinda clever: “They’re Implants — Memory Implants”. The cast includes Ashlyn Gere, Madison, Raven, Lauren Brice, Peter North and Rocco Siffredi.

William Black was a prestige porn director in the early 90s, in the vein of Andrew Blake. The back covers of Bonfire and Reball both feature the phrase “the New Wave Camera of William Black”. This means his sex scenes look a bit like perfume ads, and performers often keep their sunglasses on during sex.

Total Reball

Not available on DVD, but watchable online at Hot Movies and AEBN.

Terminator Day concludes here at PORN PARODY, at least until the pornbots achieve consciousness and we have to travel back in time to change history, unless the pornbots change history first, in which case, oh never mind.

LBO Entertainment came up with a new title pun in The Inseminator and sequel Inseminator 2: Domination Day, both 1995. The premise: the Inseminator travels back in time from a nightmarish future without pornography, in hopes of shooting his own porn and then returning to save the world. Makes perfect sense.

The Inseminator (Terminator XXX spoof)

Inseminator 2: Domination Day

Hip Video and director Orgie Georgie pumped out Terminator porn parody The Penetrator in 1991. Pornstar Woody Long plays the Penetrator and wears his sunglasses in every sex scene.

The back cover proclaims, “When mankind rises from the ashes of the nuclear fire, the struggle to overcome the tyranny of the machine and regenerate the human race will rage for decades. But the final battle will be fought here, in the present – tonight!” Spoiler alert: the final battle involves the Penetrator having sex with assorted human females.

The Penetrator (1991) Woody Long

Director Nic Cramer picked up the story of humanity’s struggle for survival in Penetrator 2: Grudge Day (1995). As in T2, there’s now a good Penetrator and an evil Penetrator, both of whom travel back in time for sex.

Penetrator 2: Grudge Day (1995)

McG’s godawful Terminator Salvation comes out on DVD tomorrow. PORN PARODY marks the occasion with our own Terminator Day.

The Terminator appeared in 1984, and the porn industry knocked out The Sperminator the following year. The XXX version has no real connection to the original — no cyborg, no time travel, no muscleman with a weird accent. The Sperminator, played by Rachel Ashley, instead runs a high-class sex therapy spa.

The Sperminator (1985) Rachel Ashley

European studio Sunset used the same title pun for its XXX Terminator parody in 2003. See “what would really happen if a naked hunk from the future arrived on Earth.” Pornstar Marco Duato looks more like a buff Jim Belushi than Arnold Schwarzenegger, but he’s got the leather jacket and shades.

The Sperminator (2003) Marco Duato