Until some porn studio gets around to making Downton Abbey XXX (hint, hint), PBS-watching pervs will have to settle for Adam & Eve’s Assterpiece Theatre.

Assterpiece Theatre - Adam & Eve XXX Masterpiece

Followed by more of the same in Assterpiece Theatre 2.

Assterpiece Theatre 2 - Adam & Eve anal compilation

Both were compilations of anal scenes from previous Adam & Eve releases. Highbrow asses include Sandra Romain, Bailey, Melissa Lauren, Tyla Wynn, Lexi Marie, Nicki Hunter, Crissy Cums, Holly Wellin, Kylie Ireland, Kelly Wells, Chelsie Rae, Pixie Pearl, Jasmine Lynn, Ariana Jollee, Poppy Morgan, Vanessa Lane and Melanie Sugar.

Shakespeare Week continues with A Midsummer Night’s Cream, a XXX adaptation of A Midsummer Night’s Dream made by Adam & Eve in 2000.

A Midsummer Night's Cream - Shakespeare xxx porn parody

Blurb: “You’ve never seen Shakespeare like this! In the wildest-ever adaptation of William Shakespeare’s epic tale, a love charm turns an enchanted forest into a sensual fantasy you won’t believe!”

The excellent cast includes Sydnee Steele, Shay Sweet, Amber Michaels, Nina Hartley, Ava Vincent, Cheyenne Silver, Nakita Kash, Heather Lynn, McKayla, Ginger Paige and Evan Stone. Directed by Stuart Canterbury.

We had seen release dates of February 3 or February 10 listed for This Ain’t Jaws XXX in 3D, but as of now (afternoon of January 31) our DVD store has it in stock and shipping. If you pre-ordered, it’s on its way.

This Ain't Jaws XXX 3D porn parody

This Ain’t Jaws XXX in 3D is a Hustler/Adam & Eve co-production, directed by Stuart Canterbury, starring Phoenix Marie, Lily LaBeau, Jayden Cole, Darcy Tyler, Evan Stone and Dale DaBone.

Check out the safe-for-work promo clips we posted a couple weeks back.

Adam & Eve Pictures presents The Four, a new highbrow big-budget XXX fantasy epic directed by Michael Ninn.

The plot and the visual look borrow from 300, but it’s not exactly a porn parody, more like an unauthorized XXX sequel.

Back cover blurb: “It is 480 BC and the 300 elite soldiers of Leonidas have been destroyed by the Persian army. As the Grecian forces invade Sparta, four surviving Spartan widows of the 300 swear revenge for their husbands and unite to assassinate Persian god — King Xerxes.”

The Four are played by Brea Bennett, Renee Perez, Nikki Kane and Cassidy. Other vengeful pornstar warriors include Veronica Jett, Amber Rayne, Alexis Love, Jennifer Dark, Maya Gates, Jana Jordan and Tristan Kingsley.

Our store has a gallery of 100+ production stills from the set.

The Four - Michael Ninn 300 porn parody from Adam & Eve

Adam & Eve has posted the trailer for its upcoming Dallas XXX porn parody, cleverly entitled Dallas: A Parody.

Adam & Eve has not announced a release date. They haven’t even posted the box cover art yet. My guess would be March or April 2012.

The cast looks good: Alexis Ford, India Summer, Eric Masterson, Bill Bailey, James Deen, Michael Vegas, Ryan McLane, Bobbi Starr and Brooklyn Lee. Directed by Andre Madness.

Debbie was unavailable for comment.

Hustler and Adam & Eve have teamed up to create This Ain’t Jaws XXX 3D. Release date slated for early February. To get the buzz started, they posted two YouTube teaser clips this week.

Starring Phoenix Marie, Lily LaBeau, Jayden Cole, Darcy Tyler, Evan Stone and Dale DaBone.

This Ain't Jaws XXX 3D porn parody

Scarface is a perfect porn parody target — nonstop decadence and depravity set in incredibly tacky decor. Say hello to my little friend, indeed.

Lady Scarface - XXX porn parody starring Carmen Luvana

Adam & Eve remade Scarface as a vehicle for superhot puertorriqueña contract starlet Carmen Luvana in 2006. Lady Scarface is the story of “Toni Luvana, a poor Cuban refugee that would rule an empire. Her appetite for power and her sexual desires let no one stand in the way. Life is good until sex, drugs and greed get in the way.”

(Brief PornParody.com editorial: Sex, drugs and greed IN MODERATION are all essential ingredients in the good life. Don’t go blaming sex, drugs and greed for your screwups, Toni Luvana. Own yourself.)

Also starring Shyla Stylez, Ice LaFox, Mikayla Mendez, Ava Rose, Emilianna and Angel Cassidy. Directed by Daniel Dakota.

Director Will Ryder has done some great sitcom porn parodies, so we expect great things from Beverly Hillbillies XXX.

Beverly Hillbillies XXX porn parody - Will Ryder

The cast includes Kagney Linn Karter, Annie Cruz, Dana DeArmond, Aubrey Addams, Taylor Vixen, Haley Hewes, Courtney Page and Kaylee Hilton.

Adam & Eve once had Beverly Hillbillies XXX listed as an October release, but now we’re hearing it will ship this week, September 28 or September 30. Yeehaw.

There have been a few Beverly Hillbillies porn parodies in the past, including The Beaverly Hillbillies in 1993.

The Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez tagteam release Grindhouse gets the porn parody treatment in Adam & Eve’s new Grindhouse XXX: A Double Feature (releasing Monday August 22, 2011).

Grindhouse XXX: A Double Feature - Adam & Eve porn parody

As in the original, Grindhouse XXX: A Double Feature includes two exploitation-style features shot by different directors: Student Assassin directed by David Lord, and Massacre At Pine Lake directed by Andre Madness.

Grindhouse XXX: A Double Feature stars Teagan Presley, Nina Mercedez, India Summer, Britney Amber, Alexis Ford, Brianna Blair and Andy San Dimas.

Legendary pornstar John Holmes made a handful of porn parodies before his death in 1988. Adam & Eve has reissued two, Saturday Night Beaver and Rockey X, as part of the John Holmes Classic Collection, Vol. 2.

John Holmes in Saturday Night Beaver & Rockey X

The other title in the set is I Love L.A., which could be considered a porn parody of the Randy Newman song. We Love It! All three titles were originally released in 1986 by Penguin Productions.

John Holmes Classic Collection, Volume 2 | Adam & Eve

All the John Holmes classic collection titles can be viewed separately in our AEBN-powered online theater. I’ve never believed the 14″ hype — around 10″ is more likely — but he certainly was a freak of nature. And a damn handsome man.