Coming Soon — April 7, 2010

The official Porn Parody Coming Soon Rundown column appears every Wednesday. Just when I think this craze might be slowing down, a half-dozen more projects pop up.

Hustler announced its next celebrity gossip porn parody, Hustler’s Untrue Hollywood Stories: Jesse James. XXX impersonators will reenact Jesse James’ sexual adventures with wife Sandra Bullock and mistresses Michelle “Bombshell” McGee and Bridget Daguerre. Hustler claims Hustler’s Untrue Hollywood Stories: Jesse James “will be available mid- April”. Can they really complete and ship a full-length DVD that quickly? We’ll see.

New Sensations releases the James Bond spoof Octopussy 3-D: A XXX Parody on April 12. Each two-DVD set comes with 3-D glasses.

Top Heavy Chef Nikki Benz

Nikki Benz in Top Heavy Chef

Sex Line Sinema serves up Top Heavy Chef on April 15. The box cover makes me happy in so many ways.

Was anyone dying for a porn parody version of Bette Midler? The promo website for Hocus Pocus XXX has gone live. Audrey Hollander, Nikki Benz and Eva Angelina star as the three sister witches.

Director David Lord has completed a porn parody of The A-Team for Adam & Eve. He’s now working on a Home Improvement XXX knockoff, to be followed by Nitro Circus, Chips and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Hustler posted a teaser clip for This Ain’t Glee XXX in which pornstars showed off their singing and dancing skills. No release date listed yet.

Elegant Angel pushed back the release date of Pornstar Superheroes again — now listed as April 29. Starring Tori Black, Sadie West, Asa Akira and Kristina Rose.

Evasive Angles will release This Ain’t Barber Shop on April 30. The same studio released This Ain’t Good Times last December, so apparently they’re staking their claim as the all-black cast porn parody experts. I can’t wait for This Ain’t What’s Happening!!

Metro posted a trailer a while back for Alice, a XXX “re-imagining” of Alice in Wonderland, but still hasn’t set a release date.

Dream Zone shot Roseanne XXX in March, starring BBW pornstar Kelly Shibari.

Vouyer shot Not Really Taxi last week (March 29-31). The cast includes Ron Jeremy (in the Danny DeVito role), Kirsten Price, Monique Alexander, Jenny Hendrix, Eva Angelina, Anthony Rosano and Krissy Lynn.

Bluebird Films, an offshoot of Private, posted a trailer for the porn parody Bat Fucks: Dark Night, slated for September release. It will star Nick Manning, who was originally supposed to star in Vivid’s Batman parody project, which fell off the radar for several months and then got revived with a new Batman. There’s probably a juicy behind-the-scenes story there.

Meanwhile … Principal shooting for Vivid’s This Ain’t Batman XXX took place last weekend (April 1-3). Directed by Axel Braun, now starring Dale DaBone as Batman.

Axel Braun held a casting call in early March for his Grease XXX project for Vivid. He’s got several projects lined up, so the Grease XXX shoot may have to wait a while.

Axel Braun (damn he’s a busy guy) is also set to direct This Ain’t Avatar XXX for Hustler “in 3-D using the most revolutionary, state-of-the-art technology available”.

Will Ryder is making Not Charlie’s Angels XXX for his production company X-Play, to be distributed by Adam & Eve. The crimefighting trio will be played by Bree Olson, Sunny Leone and Andy San Dimas.

PopPorn plans to make Official Hangover Parody soonish, and they’ve already set up an official website. But they plan to make The Delinquents first, so don’t look for the Hangover parody until mid-summer at the earliest.

In the Long Run

New Sensations plans porn parodies based on The A-Team, Harry Potter, The Golden Girls, The Breakfast Club, 24, This is Spinal Tap, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Lost. … Hustler plans Tiger’s Nailin’ Palin plus parodies based on CSI, The Hills, The Soup, Curb Your Enthusiasm and I Dream of Jeannie. … Adam & Eve plans XXX parodies based on The A-Team and Home Improvement in 2010. … Axel Braun mentioned wanting to do a XXX parody of The Godfather in 2010.