Lee Roy Myers tackles Shakespeare in his new Romeo & Juliet, starring Rocco Reed and Chanel Preston as the star-crossed lovers.

Romeo & Juliet - directed by Lee Roy Myers

Also starring India Summer, Andy San Dimas, AnnMarie Rios, Brian Street Team, Tom Byron and Anthony Rosano.

Here’s hoping the Lee Roy Myers version has a less depressing ending.

We’ve got a ton of Shakespeare porn in the stuff-to-post-someday slush pile. Maybe it’s time for a Shakespeare week.

Director Jordan Septo returns to the classics with OMG … It’s The Flashdance XXX Parody. Albanian-born hardbody Breanne Benson fills the Jennifer Beals role.

OMG ... Flashdance XXX Porn Parody

Back cover blurb: “Experience the pop-culture of the 80′s like never before. The music, the dancing and the leg warmers are all back. And so is the welding, the water dancing, the conflicts and inspiration. But this time the leg warmers are coming off and everyone gets soaking wet. Oh, what a feeling!”

Also starring Lexi Belle, Rocco Reed, Breanne Benson, Chanel Preston, Ash Hollywood, Nicole Aniston, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Pistol and Xander Corvus.

This isn’t the first Flashdance porn parody. Back in 1983, right after the original Flashdance came out, the original XXX Flesh Dance starred Shanna Evens (aka Shana Evans), Janey Robbins, Kimberly Carson, Rachel Ashley, Ron Jeremy and John Leslie.

Flesh Dance - XXX porn parody 1983

Find Flesh Dance (1983) on DVD in our store.
Find Flesh Dance (1983) streaming or download in our theater.

Penthouse released its own Fleshdance in 2007 with Franchezca Valentina in the Jennifer Beals role. The movie opens with a hot sex scene in the welding shop. Personally I don’t like to have sex around barbed wire, but different strokes for different folks.

Fleshdance (Penthouse 2007) welding shop sex scene

The Penthouse Fleshdance is out of print on DVD, but available for streaming and download.

300 came out five years ago, and now we’ve had two porn versions in the last week. Adam & Eve’s The Four played it serious and arty, and Caballero’s new The 300 seems to have taken the same approach. (Our store lists it as The 300: XXX Parody, but I don’t see the word “parody” or any hint of humor anywhere on the box cover.)

The 300 - XXX porn parody/knockoff from Caballero

The back cover blurb explains, “In the historic battle of Thermopylae, 480 B.C., 300 courageous Spartan warriors valiantly fought a massive invading Persian army. Spartan king Leonidas and his 300 warriors fell in battle, but their heroic action inspired all of Greece to stand up against the Persian army and defeat them. A new sex dominant queen took the reign in Greece and rewarded the victorious Greek army with her body.”

Starring Gislaine Dos Santos (as the insatiable and bald Queen of Greece), Bruna Ferraz, Yumi Saito and Karen Bellini.

We had seen release dates of February 3 or February 10 listed for This Ain’t Jaws XXX in 3D, but as of now (afternoon of January 31) our DVD store has it in stock and shipping. If you pre-ordered, it’s on its way.

This Ain't Jaws XXX 3D porn parody

This Ain’t Jaws XXX in 3D is a Hustler/Adam & Eve co-production, directed by Stuart Canterbury, starring Phoenix Marie, Lily LaBeau, Jayden Cole, Darcy Tyler, Evan Stone and Dale DaBone.

Check out the safe-for-work promo clips we posted a couple weeks back.

Exquisite Films has launched an advance buzz-building campaign for Tomb Raider XXX in cahoots with some geek culture sites.

First up, Nerd Reactor presents a behind-the-scenes featurette and on-set interview with star Chanel Preston.

Next, Kotaku presents the official safe-for-work trailer.

Kotaku also offers some goofy excerpts from the script.

UPDATE (Feb 3): Exquisite has released the box cover art, and our store is now taking pre-orders.

Tomb Raider XXX Porn Parody starring Chanel Preston

Adult DVD Talk lists the scheduled release date as March 1, 2012. The trailer says February 2012. We’ll keep you updated.

Back in print after several years in limbo: Trixxx and Trixxx 2, a two-part 1999 porn parody of The Matrix.

Trixxx - Matrix porn parody

The promo blurb says, “Is the world around us real or a fantasy pulled in front of our eyes to hide the truth??? That is what HASH (Michael J. Cox) is going to discover… When he meets JADE (Cheyenne Silver) and SERENADE (Rebecca Lord), his whole world collapses and he is introduced to reality… Hidden deep under the ocean, in a submarine, a small group of rebels show him the real nature of life.” Also starring Inari Vachs, Candy Apples, Nancy Vee and Amia More.

Trixxx 2 - Matrix sequel porn parody

In typical porno fashion, they did not complete the trilogy.

An outfit called Pearl Classics has released a My Weekend With Marilyn XXX knockoff entitled Weekend With Marylin, with Kelly Trump channeling sex goddess Marilyn Monroe.

Weekend With Marylin - xxx Marilyn Monroe porn parody

Weekend With Marylin is actually a reissue of a 2000 Italian porn flick entitled Marylin. Star Kelly Trump retired from porn around 2002 — that was the first giveaway.

Other recent XXX flicks have featured Marilyn Monroe lookalikes. Hollywood Icons Come To Life recreated a Marilyn Monroe/Joe Dimaggio sex tape. And POV Dream (2008) depicted a Marilyn Monroe/JFK liaison in the Oval Office.

Another sorta porn parody from White Ghetto: This Isn’t The Three Musketeers … It’s A XXX Spoof!

This Isn't The Three Musketeers ... It's A XXX Spoof!

Five hardcore sex scenes, all MMF threesomes. The promo blurb explains, “Journey back with us to a swashbuckling time where men loved nothing more than a good fight, and the ladies loved nothing more than a big cock, unless it was two cocks in a nasty, cum soaked threesome! It was a time of heroes and hookers, of rousing battles and all night, pussy plugging three way sexcapades!”

Starring Malia Kelly, Honey White, Chantell Merino, Andrea Wild and Tabitha Ann, plus ten swashbucklers.

Strangely enough, 17th century French palaces looked a lot like modern-day San Fernando Valley motel rooms.

Will Ryder announced this week that he’s working on The Three Stooges XXX. Hooray! Some quotes from Ryder:

“This movie will be funny and sexy as hell. Yes I said sexy.

“This is a dream project because along with so many millions of men and some women worldwide I have loved them since I was a kid.”

“You don’t want to mess too much with something as wonderfully iconic as Larry, Moe and Curly, but just imagine these zany guys plus an appearance by Shemp heavily involved with hot naked girls and you have a recipe for something wonderful.”

No casting info yet.

There’s a Hollywood non-porn The Three Stooges movie directed by the Farrelly Brothers coming out in April. Look for Will Ryder’s XXX version to be released sometime around then.

Adam & Eve Pictures presents The Four, a new highbrow big-budget XXX fantasy epic directed by Michael Ninn.

The plot and the visual look borrow from 300, but it’s not exactly a porn parody, more like an unauthorized XXX sequel.

Back cover blurb: “It is 480 BC and the 300 elite soldiers of Leonidas have been destroyed by the Persian army. As the Grecian forces invade Sparta, four surviving Spartan widows of the 300 swear revenge for their husbands and unite to assassinate Persian god — King Xerxes.”

The Four are played by Brea Bennett, Renee Perez, Nikki Kane and Cassidy. Other vengeful pornstar warriors include Veronica Jett, Amber Rayne, Alexis Love, Jennifer Dark, Maya Gates, Jana Jordan and Tristan Kingsley.

Our store has a gallery of 100+ production stills from the set.

The Four - Michael Ninn 300 porn parody from Adam & Eve