Are you ready for some football smut?

Back in 1997 director Jim Powers, master of gonzo and parody alike, got fans ready with the all-girl football flick San Francisco 69’ers. Blurb: “It’s first down on the 69-yard line and 90 minutes left on the clock!” Close enough.

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The roster included Heaven Leigh, Shawna Edwards, Shelbee Myne, Katie Gold, Caressa Savage, Candy Hill and Brooke Ashley.

In 1998, Powers and company followed up with San Francisco 69’ers vs the Green Bay Ass Packers

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The cast this time around included Allysin Chaynes, Alyssa Allure, Doomy Moore, Gina Ryder, Gwen Summers, Inari Vachs, Raquel Devine, Regan Starr and Vanity Irons.

With 30 more NFL team names ripe for dirty puns, this series could have continued for a long time. Alas, that legendary SF-GB matchup was the last hurrah.

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Earlier this summer, X-Play sent out a press release announcing that Will Ryder was in pre-production on Manson Family XXX, a “porn parody” about the horrific 1969 murder spree. A minor media frenzy ensued, and TMZ reported that the project had already inspired outrage and opposition.

Charles Manson will NOT be glorified in porn … so vows the sister of Sharon Tate.

Debra Tate [sister of murder victim Sharon Tate] is incensed over the impending casting of “Manson Family XXX” [....]

Adult film director Will Ryder — whose credits include “Not The Wizard of Oz XXX” — will cast Susan Atkins, Patricia Krenwinkel, Leslie Van Houten, Linda Kasabian, Charles “Tex” Watson, and others. Manson is the central figure who has sex with all of them.

PornParody.com generally approves of tasteless humor and a no-sacred-cows mentality in porn, but even we question whether this is a good idea. It doesn’t sound clever, just cruel and sad.

After that June 25 TMZ article, we hadn’t heard anything further and figured the project had been abandoned. Then yesterday (September 15), Will Ryder posted a trailer to YouTube:

The trailer contains no video footage, just a collage of static set photos. Nonetheless, it looks like X-Play really made this film and plans to release it soon.

The cast includes Sarah Vandella, Nadia Styles, Cassidy Klein, Maya Grand, Judas, Gaia, Kurt Lockwood, Eric John, Dick Chibbles, Jeremy Conway, Jack Vegas and “JS as Charles Manson”. AIFD lists Ryan Driller in the cast as well.

The world needs anarchists and pranksters willing to push the boundaries of free speech and acceptable taste. We’ll gladly defend Ryder and company’s right to make this film. But we’ll probably choose not to watch it.

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Legendary director Will Ryder and studio X-Play will release their newest porn parody later this month, Jersey Boys XXX: A Porn Parody.

Press release quotes from Will Ryder:

“The movie is definitely aimed at fans of high quality adult entertainment including couples that want to watch something enjoyable together and of course the people that love Frankie Valli and the Jersey Boys along with all the great music of that era.”

“I have to confess I am a huge fan of Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons and of course the musical Jersey Boys so I made sure I offered one-hundred percent respect to Mr. Frankie Valli in how I created this parody musical.”

“Yes we take some liberties. Our movie begins in the early 1960s when the band was just starting their career searching for a record deal and we take the audience on a fun ride that travels into the beginning of the disco era of 1974.”

We suspect those “liberties” include lots of sex. Call it a hunch.

The cast includes Tommy Pistol (as Frankie Valli), Eric John, Chad White, Kurt Lockwood and Chad Diamond (as the rest of the Four Seasons, because there are five of them in this version), plus Jersey girls Zoey Monroe, Carmen Caliente, Bailey Bae, Mila Blaze, Sunny Lane, Ryder Skye, Lucky Star and Anya Ivy.

This will be the third XXX musical directed by Ryder, following Not the Wizard of Oz XXX and Grease XXX (both 2013). The idea of pornstars singing and dancing may sound unpromising, but Wizard and Grease were both a blast and we have high hopes for Jersey Boys XXX too.

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New this week from Anastasia Pierce Productions comes a strange fetish parody, Scarlet Witch vs Black Widow and Batwoman.

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Anastasia Pierce creates and stars in all-female light BDSM smut with a playful, burlesque vibe.

If stylish superhero cosplay bondage is your thing, or one of your things, it doesn’t get any better than this.

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Planet of the Babes

August 27, 2014

In 2001, piggybacking on the godawful Tim Burton Planet of the Apes remake, Jim Powers directed the far superior porn parody Planet of the Babes. The Powers version follows the original plot exactly: three astronauts land on a mysterious planet where intelligent apes enslave stone age humans. The original DVD box cover looks styling, though [...]

Sex Tape draws two spoofs

August 6, 2014

Sex Tape starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel was a huge bomb. If you want to see it in a theater, better hurry up because it will be gone soon. That failure hasn’t stopped two different porn studios from putting out quickie cheapo porn parodies, both due out on DVD this week. First up, This [...]

Axel Braun Shooting Empire Strikes Back XXX for Wicked

August 1, 2014

Porn parody master Axel Braun plans to shoot Empire Strikes Back XXX in late 2014, a followup to his excellent Star Wars XXX from 2012. The whole cast will be back — Allie Haze as Princess Leia, Seth Gamble as Luke Skywalker, Lexington Steele as Darth Vader. Braun told XBiz, “I’ve been wanting to do [...]

Axel Braun’s X-Men XXX released by Vivid

July 17, 2014

Vivid debuts X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, available now inside the Vivid.com members area, featuring “an incredible ensemble of marvelously erotic mutants, awesome costumes, and mainstream-quality visual FX, along of course with Axel Braun’s legendary attention to detail”. (Look for the DVD set around July 29, and video-on-demand soon after that.) Here’s the cast/character [...]

Benefits Treat, XXX spoof of Benefits Street

July 9, 2014

In January 2014, British TV network Channel 4 ran a five-episode documentary series called Benefits Street, which followed various welfare recipients living on James Turner Street in Birmingham for one year. The program generated highly charged responses from across the political spectrum. Some critics complained that it was “poverty porn”. Various followup documentaries and panel [...]

Porn Heros, Vol 2 does Punisher, Robin Hood, Nick Fury & The Incredibles

July 8, 2014

Cheapo europorn outfit Cum Louder has released another goofy parody anthology — Porn Heros, Vol. 02. The four sex scenes depict various costumed heroes getting it on. Scene #1: Robin Hood Scene #2: Mr. Incredible Scene #3: Punisher Scene #4: Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD Female stars are Angel Rivas, Miyuki, Daniela Castro and Noe [...]