In 2001, piggybacking on the godawful Tim Burton Planet of the Apes remake, Jim Powers directed the far superior porn parody Planet of the Babes.
The Powers version follows the original plot exactly: three astronauts land on a mysterious planet where intelligent apes enslave stone age humans.
The original DVD box cover looks styling, though I also dig this simpler Russian box:
The cast includes Asia Carrera, Bridgette Kerkove, Gwen Summers, Flick Shagwell, Lola Vargas, Steven St. Croix, Mickey G., Dave Hardman and Nick East. As you can see, they put some real effort into the sets …
… and costumes:
Alas, the sex scenes in Planet of the Babes are strictly human-on-human. In other words, the pornstars wearing the Halloween ape masks keep their clothes on.
Tom Byron directed a Planet of the Gapes series for Extreme Associates between 1998 and 2001, but there was no parody content beyond the title pun.
With the new Planet of the Apes series rising and dawning in Hollywood, it’s definitely time for a fresh porn parody. And for fuck’s sake, let the apes have some fun this time around.
Sex Tape starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel was a huge bomb. If you want to see it in a theater, better hurry up because it will be gone soon.
That failure hasn’t stopped two different porn studios from putting out quickie cheapo porn parodies, both due out on DVD this week.
First up, This Isn’t Sex Tape, It’s a XXX Spoof! from White Ghetto.
Followed by Sex Tape (Not!) from Hot Mess.
Neither of these look particularly ambitious. They might be Sex Tape parodies in the sense that each features videotape showing people have sex, but don’t expect much more than that.
Porn parody master Axel Braun plans to shoot Empire Strikes Back XXX in late 2014, a followup to his excellent Star Wars XXX from 2012.
The whole cast will be back — Allie Haze as Princess Leia, Seth Gamble as Luke Skywalker, Lexington Steele as Darth Vader.
Braun told XBiz, “I’ve been wanting to do it for a while, but it’s such a huge undertaking that I needed to find the right time to give it the proper attention. With next year’s release of Episode VII, it seemed inevitable. … It’s going to be a 16-day shoot with plenty of locations. We are actually considering going to Alaska to film the Hoth scenes.”
One notable change — Star Wars XXX was released by Vivid, but Empire Strikes Back XXX will be a Wicked release. Axel Braun’s recent Snow White XXX and 24 XXX were also released by Wicked. Braun announced a few months back his intention to shoot with condoms from now on, and Wicked has been all-condom for a while, so maybe that’s the reason for his new home. Decide for yourself if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
Vivid debuts X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, available now inside the Vivid.com members area, featuring “an incredible ensemble of marvelously erotic mutants, awesome costumes, and mainstream-quality visual FX, along of course with Axel Braun’s legendary attention to detail”. (Look for the DVD set around July 29, and video-on-demand soon after that.)
Here’s the cast/character breakdown:
Allie Haze as Rogue
Skin Diamond as Storm
Andy San Dimas as Phoenix
Chanel Preston as Polaris
Jeannie Marie as Emma Frost
Katie St. Ives as Kitty Pryde
Tommy Gunn as Wolverine
J. Jay as Cyclops
Peter O’Tool as Blob
Alec Knight as Foreigner
Billy Glide as Colossus
Mike Moz as Professor X
Tom Byron as Magneto
Considering how many X-Men heroes and villains are available, the sequel possibilities are endless. Vivid already has Avengers vs. X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody slated for summer 2016 release. Woo hoo!
Adam & Eve made X-Girls in 2000 to spoof the original X-Men movie. For whatever reason, the Adam & Eve version invented new superheroines (Mesmeratix! Flare! Vanishing Vixen!) rather than use existing X-Men characters. Private made X-Girls: The Lost X-Teens in 2007. Brazzers gave us XXX-Men: The Hellfire Club in 2013. But it’s safe to say that Axel Braun’s version is lightyears better than any previous X-Men porn parody.